How Jayne Allen Sits Down & Writes
Jayne Allen deftly explores fertility, womanhood, race, friendship, and more in the charming and insightful 'Black Girls Must Die Exhausted.'
Tabitha Walker is a black woman with a plan to “have it all.” At 33 years old, the checklist for the life of her dreams is well underway. Education? Check. Good job? Check. Down payment for a nice house? Check. Dating marriage material? Check, check, and check. With a coveted position as a local news reporter, a "paper-perfect" boyfriend, and even a standing Saturday morning appointment with a reliable hairstylist, everything seems to be falling into place.
Then Tabby receives an unexpected diagnosis that brings her picture-perfect life crashing down, jeopardizing the keystone she took for granted: having children. With her dreams at risk of falling through the cracks of her checklist, suddenly she is faced with an impossible choice between her career, her dream home, and a family of her own.
With the help of her best friends, the irreverent and headstrong Laila and Alexis, the mom jeans-wearing former "Sexy Lexi," and the generational wisdom of her grandmother and the nonagenarian firebrand Ms. Gretchen, Tabby explores the reaches of modern medicine and tests the limits of her relationships, hoping to salvage the future she always dreamed of. But the fight is all-consuming, demanding a steep price that forces an honest reckoning for nearly everyone in her life. As Tabby soon learns, her grandmother's age-old adage just might still be true: Black girls must die exhausted.
Black Girls Must Die Exhausted is perfect for fans of voicey fiction that reads like you’re having a heart-to-heart with your best friend.
We chatted with Jayne Allen about creating fully realized characters, a narrator’s voice that leaps off the page, and why exploring fertility issues in fiction is so important.
Q: Where and when do you like to write?
I find that my best writing comes in the morning. Sometimes I’ll wake up at 3 a.m., especially if I’m excited about a project or where the writing is going. If I need some extra inspiration, I head to the beach to write or to think through my plot or solve any sticking points. Otherwise, I have a few comfortable places at home and I’ll switch it up from one location to another to change up the energy.
Q: When it comes to drafting, do you prefer writing on a computer or freehand?
I like doing my early ideas by hand and then when it comes to really drafting the manuscript, I switch over to a computer. I really enjoy the connection I feel to the early idea by sketching it out by hand.
Q: Are you more of a plotter or a pantser?
I am definitely a plotter!
Q: Stephen King has a great line in On Writing that says “the scariest moment is always right before you start. After that, things can only get better.” That scary pre-start moment often inspires procrastination in writers. Suddenly, you have to clean your entire house, do the laundry and play Candy Crush for an hour before you can actually start writing. Is there anything you need to do before you can actually sit down and work?
I usually like to get in a good workout before I start and have a nice cup of coffee or tea. I also start every project by writing my intentions for it. That way, I know what the long run looks like, what I’m doing beyond just writing, and I can stay connected to my “why.”
Q: Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what music? Is your choice of music inspired by the project you’re working on?
I love to listen to jazz when I write or uplifting instrumental music. Sometimes I’ll listen to music that is inspired by the project that I’m working on between writing sessions to keep me in the mood that I’m going for in my writing. I always make a playlist for each of my books!
Q: Some writers believe you have to write every single day. Is that true of your process?
I don’t write formally every single day, but I do keep a journal and many many notes in my phone. If I ever lost my phone, I’d be much more upset about losing the notes than I would about losing the photos or anything else, even the phone! When I’m working on a novel, I do write on a schedule, and often that is nearly every day, but I definitely benefit from taking breaks.
Q: What’s one piece of advice you’d give an aspiring author?
I’d tell an aspiring author to believe in herself and her ideas. So often, we get an idea and then try to judge it by what we see around us. But as authors, sometimes we’re given ideas for times to come, not just the present time. So, always honor your ideas. Move forward as best you can and as consistently as you can with the one that you’re most passionate about, that makes your heart sing. There will be a place for it in the world.
Q: Where do you normally find story inspiration?
My best inspiration comes from being a real observer in life and from making an adventure of living. I am fascinated with how people become seekers in everyday life and finding the uncommon magic in seemingly everyday stories.
Q: Black Girls Must Die Exhausted examines fertility struggles, particularly when experienced by a young, single woman. What made you want to explore this issue from Tabitha Walker’s unique perspective?
I’ve had my own experiences with fertility treatments, trying to freeze my eggs in my early 40’s. In that process, there was so much that I wish I’d known when I was younger so I could have had more choices and opportunities in front of me. I also realized how many women are affected by infertility. It’s surprising how it’s not really discussed, and especially not among black women. So, I really wanted to normalize the topic because I think we all benefit by destigmatizing fertility and infertility conversations and sharing experiences and information with each other. Tabby’s a great character to open up and be vulnerable about this issue in fiction and I hope that she inspires more women to share their journeys in the real world.
Q: There are multiple complex relationships portrayed throughout this novel, including lifelong friendships, romances, and strained relationships with parents. What is your approach to crafting nuanced relationship dynamics between your characters?
Character development might be my favorite part of the writing process. I love crafting characters and giving them texture and nuance. Ideally, if you found yourself in a room with one of my characters, I’d want you to know exactly who he or she was. I want them to feel that real to a reader. So, I really study real people and try to figure out the why behind everything. In conversations, I ask a lot of questions. I’m always striving to understand. And I endeavor to bring that understanding to my characters and their journeys in my stories.
When I start a story, and I think of who should “star” in the story, I think about the relationships, conflict, and journey that will be important to the story, so I really “cast” my projects in how I craft characters. I find that if I get the characters right, the relationships play out authentically in a way that we can all not only be entertained, moved, and captured by, but also learn from.
Q: Tabby’s relationship with her grandmother, Granny Tab, often felt like the heart of Black Girls Must Die Exhausted—the title is even inspired by one of Granny Tab’s lines. What drew you to portraying a grandmother/granddaughter relationship as one of your novel’s emotional cores?
I thought it would be really interesting in Black Girls Must Die Exhausted to explore the inter-generational dynamic that often brings so much wisdom into our lives but that we don’t often see represented deeply in contemporary fiction. I wanted this book to have a heart and a heartbeat that could really draw a reader in and give the experience of a family and a full life. I wanted the reader to really feel like they knew Tabby and that meant showing the people who made her who she is, in both good and bad ways. I wanted the reader to see the ways in which life would work to tear her down and also the people in her life that supported her and supplied her with the insight and wisdom to stay standing and persevere. Her relationship with her grandmother was a beautiful one to craft and recalled for me my relationship with my own grandmother in many ways.
Q: Tabby’s voice really leaps off the page, making her feel real and completely relatable to readers. Where do you begin when finding the voice of a first-person narrator?
Black Girls Must Die Exhausted was my first novel and if I had known how hard it would be to craft a narrator’s voice in first person, I probably would have picked a different route! I really wanted the reader to have that intimacy with Tabby. At the very beginning of the story, we meet her on her worst day, at her most vulnerable and at the point when she really starts to question the life that she thought she had all worked out.
That vulnerability is important because it allows the reader to go along with Tabby on what is very much an internal journey. We need to be able to hear it directly from her, what she’s experiencing and how she’s viewing it – especially when she doesn’t quite know how to interpret the complexities of life.
So, I’m glad that it’s a first-person narrative, but I didn’t realize the difficulty in that nothing can happen in the story if Tabby doesn’t see it, think it, know it or hear about it. That’s a constraint that I think presents a real challenge for a first novel—at least, it did for me!
The other challenge is to constantly remember in writing that it’s Tabby’s voice, the way that Tabby would see it, so her character has to be really well-developed and strongly in mind so that my own voice as the author doesn’t ever take over.
I’m just really glad that I didn’t know what I was getting into until I was too far along to turn back!
Q: When you set out to write Tabby’s story, did you always know where she would end up on the final page or did you discover that as you wrote?
Tabby’s story is one of a woman essentially becoming a seeker in the midst of her everyday life. Because of a crisis, Tabby starts seeking the truth of who she is, what she wants, and who she needs to be. She starts with the word “exhausted,” realizing that is the word she’s been unconsciously living, and then sets out to redefine her life and change that word. I love that journey and especially seeing it as she essentially continues to live her everyday life.
I knew where she would wind up on the inside, but I didn’t know what that would look like on the outside of her life. So I had to write my way into that. I’m so glad that I planned for a trilogy because it really allowed me the space to let her story breathe and play out authentically for her as a character instead of having to punch out strict plot points. Her journey always had a direction, but the story has been unfolding as her character grows in each of the books. As I’m writing her she’s teaching me and we’re growing together. I love that part of the writing experience.
Q: What are you reading right now?
I read a few things simultaneously for different reasons. I try to read something new to me, which right now is poetry. I’m reading Kate Baer’s poetry books What Kind of Woman and the upcoming release I Hope This Finds You Well. I’m also reading The People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry, for my summer fiction. My current personal development book is 5 Things Successful People Do Before 8 a.m. by Terri Savelle Foy. And finally, I have the opportunity to read a few pre-publication books and I really enjoyed What Passes As Love by Trisha R. Thomas, which I just finished and now, I’m reading Yinka, Where is Your Huzband? by Lizzie Damilola Blackburn.
Pick up your copy of Black Girls Must Die Exhausted from IndieBound, bookshop.org, or Barnes & Noble.
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